Chapter 3: Getting help.

The first Step in recovery is to acknowledge you have a problem. Everyone knows that. Well when your are in that self loathing state, when you can't even hardly groom yourself because, "why bother?" When you can see the flaws in the logic and yet, part of you repeats the negativity statements as fact and brushes any flows in the logic with, "who cares" or "what's the point?" It makes it really hard to do more than acknowledge the problem. You're stuck in a psychological boot loop.

How does one fix a boot loop? A hard reset? Sometimes that works. Usually the best is to check the manual or do a search online first. Humans don't really have a manual, at least not one with a simple "here's how to fix this specific boot loop" so, I went online.

#notsponsored but...

I found Betterhelp.com. It is a service that facilitates people getting mental health counselling. You fill out a questionnaire that includes your location, what issues you are facing, and what type of counselling you are looking for, then, they give you a list of counselor profiles to pick from and, you can get started, chatting with them within 24 hours. If you need or want to you can change counsellors at any time with no questions asked. The default dashboard is where you can send messages to and receive from your counsellor and you can schedule once-a-week live sessions where you can instantly communicate with them in either text, voice only, or full video chat. There is also group sessions included that change regularly, but I have yet to try those.

Now that that #notanad is out of the way. I was introduced to my counsellor and, yeah, within 24 hours we were scheduling a live video session. I told them about how I was feeling and my current situation, they listened and, overall, allowed me to vent my emotions. So at this point I am talking with someone once a week to talk through how I feel and I tell them everything and, to this day, I look forward to the weekly catch ups. Sometimes we discuss current events in my life sometimes it becomes story time, and I do much like I am on here, and just go on for the whole session about one time that ....

Doing this helps be break through the cycle, not overnight mind you as I am still working on it, but it slowly chips away.